Consent doesn't end once the negotiation is over. It must be ongoing throughout the entire scene. The primary tool for managing consent *during* play is the **safe word**.
A safe word is a pre-negotiated word or signal that has no place in the scene's roleplay. Shouting "no" or "stop" can sometimes be part of the roleplay (known as "playing the role"), so a safe word cuts through any ambiguity.
The Traffic Light System
This is the most common safe word system:
- "Green": (Or a "thumbs up" signal) This means "Everything is great, I'm good, keep going." It's a positive check-in.
- "Yellow": (Or "slow down") This means "I'm at my limit," "I'm unsure," or "Proceed with caution." It doesn't mean stop the scene, but it does mean the dominant partner should check in, ease up, or change an element of the play.
- "Red": (Or "Safeword!") This means "Stop. Now." It is the universal signal to end the scene immediately, no questions asked. All play ceases, and the participants check on each other's well-being.
When You Can't Speak: Non-Verbal Signals
If a person is gagged or otherwise unable to speak, a non-verbal safe signal is essential. This could be:
- Dropping a "safe item" (like a ball or a bell) held in the hand.
- Tapping out (e.g., three distinct taps on the floor or partner).
- A specific hand gesture (like a "thumbs down").
Using a safe word is not "failing" a scene. It is the successful and healthy practice of BDSM, allowing all participants to explore their limits safely.